YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AMERICAN
"DOCTOR WHO" FAN
By Richard Whettestone
You spent $11 for a Dapol "K-9" Action Figure
through the mail that people in England only have to pay $4 for.
When you watch an old episode of the Cybermen,
it makes you want to watch one of the newer ones to see how they've
When you watch a new episode of the Cybermen, it
makes you want to watch one of the older ones to see how they've
You recognize some of the actors when they
guest-star on Blake's 7.
You thought about buying a Tom Baker scarf, but
then realized you'd look like a fool if you actually wore it in
Your local PBS Station has aired every Tom Baker
episode 3 times, but only aired the Jon Pertwee episodes just
You bought "Shada" on video, thought it was
boring, but yet don't regret buying it.
You want to name your daughter
You know what the Speedbird Concorde is, yet
your friends don't.
When you see an old man slumped forward in a
wheelchair covered up in a blanket with only one arm sticking out,
someone comes to mind.
You have to spend $20 to buy a Hartnell or
Troughton episode on tape that you've never seen, because your local PBS
Station will only air the Tom Baker episodes.
Your local PBS Station forgot to air a 20 minute
segment from the middle of an episode when they returned from a Doctor
Who Pledge Drive. (WTVP - Channel 47, Peoria, Illinois for
Your local PBS Station that used to air it all
the time in the 1980's now refuses to even air Red Dwarf.
You're now a Blake's 7 fan, too.
You know by heart the names of all the
companions, except for the Hartnell and Troughton ones, because you've
never seen them.
You recognize Doctor Who actors when you watch
You spend a great deal of time trying to figure
out all the different future outcomes of Earth, such as the Dalek
Invasion of Earth in 2150, the movement of the planet by the TimeLords
in "Trial of a TimeLord", the destruction of Earth refered to in
Hartnell's "The Ark", the destruction of it refered to in "Frontios",
and the repopulation of it in "The Sontaran Experiment".
You wonder what happened to Ace.
You accept Paul McGann as the eighth
You consider it a moment of powerful Television
Editing when you saw the black background with Adric's broken gold star
on screen while the credits rolled by.
You know who Michael Grade is and what he
You know everything about the show, but can't
understand the country England itself where the show is from.
Cheasy monsters only appear on Star Trek.
When the Nimon costume's head almost fell off
the actor, you chose to over look it.
When Tom Baker opens the door to let K-9 in or
out off screen, you ignore the fact that K-9 himself can't actually fit
through the Tardis door.
You know that the Cybermen came before
You have a fantasy of finding a lost Doctor Who
episode at a flea market.
You have to read the Target Novelisations of the
Hartnell and Troughton episodes just to find out what happened in
Your local PBS Station only aired "The Five
Doctors" during a Pledge Drive.
You know Kate O'Mara, who played The Rani, was a
regular on Dynasty.